So, I made it through residency, and loved it, though I missed everyone here so much. I made it safely home intact. Well, mostly intact. You see, when all of us low-res MFA students got there, everything was peachy, if a bit hectic. Then, our director had to leave us due to a tragic family emergency. We were all very concerned for her and her family. We laughed, we shared, we cried, and people graduated. We did our student readings on the last day.
I guarantee you not one grad student made it all the way home with dry eyes.
We’d bonded, see, and some of us might not be back. Now, any time one of these precious people hurts, I hurt. I love it, and I hate it. It sucks, and it’s wonderful. It’s wonderful when they celebrate, because I feel their joy, almost as if it is my own. Well, in a way, it is my own, because I feel joy at their joyousness.
Anyway, coming home was bittersweet. Then, because we are strangely aligned with the school calendar, we all sort of start off the Spring semester a little behind. I had plans. My plans did not include being behind on my coursework. I had a sort of panic attack. For a week. Then Hubby and I talked.
Those of you who follow me on Facebook and all over, know how driven I can be, and how busy. Well, I finally hit a wall. Hubby told me to write down all of the stuff I wanted to do on one list and all of the stuff I needed to do on another. This was WAY harder than it would seem at first.
You see, I was pretty sure it was all stuff I NEEDED to do right now. It wasn’t. Even though many things still were needs, doing them right now, while I’m in school wasn’t a NEED, it was a WANT. With those issues sorted ( I had to consult him on several…) My to-do list was essentially cut in half.
Now, I don’t know if you go for astrology, but I put some stock in the effects of energetic resonances created by the positions of things that give off vibrations (planets, stars, and the like) and I suppose the ancients did too. Thing is, this is exactly what the astrologer that I listen to had said. I know, I’m getting all woo-woo again, but hear me out. I had heard what she said, and somehow did the opposite. (I do what I want, right?) I got the messages crossed up, thinking now was the time to go for it. It is, because I’m a Cappie, and that’s what the next two years is all about for us. What I didn’t realize was that I already had taken one particular bull by the horns. Grad School. And I was trying to hold onto three or four more as well (the vlog, podcast, and the social media.) I desperately needed to let go of a few bulls.
I did, and all I can say is, the difference is unbelievable. I’m no longer so buried under to-dos that I am paralyzed by the thought of not getting everything done. I am nearly caught up with my college reading, and it’s only been three days. Focus was much much easier to achieve once I let go.
Yes, this is personal stuff on what I hope to form into a professional blog. I guess it is here to remind me that I am capable of sacrificing my hold on some things, in order to focus on the important work at hand. That it’s okay to let some things wait and simmer. Even if it seems they’ve been simmering so long already. They’re not quite done. (How’s that for a metaphor shift?) On that note, I think it’s time to retire, and get in some more of that valuable (and oh, so relaxing) reading time.
Until next time…